Anti Aging

BLOGGINS – Cecil, passed away suddenly at the age of 173 in a bungie jumping accident. Predeceased by Cheryl (nee Neigh), his wife of 138 years. Survived by 4 children, 14 grandchildren, 54 great grandchildren, 287 great-great grandchildren, 792 great-great-great grandchildren, 2175 great great great great grandchildren and a few dozen great great great great great grandchildren. Cecil was born naturally in 1976. A survivor of the earthquake of ‘04. Cecil’s mad dashes to second base will be missed by the boys of the Old Longball Baseball Team. In lieu of flowers please send donations to Chicago Cubs Pennant Assistance program. Cecil’s one regret was that he didn’t live long enough to see the Cubs win it all. In fact, Cecil’s dying words were “I still don’t understand why they traded 4 first round picks for that 87 year old catcher.” Cecil was a successful artificial intelligence mechanic as a youth but after a midlife crisis at the age of 91 he returned to college. He graduated with a degree in azimuthal biomolecular tectonics and began his own discount organ cloning company. Funeral will be held on Saturday at Lincoln Stadium, right after the game.

Is aging a disease? Hmmm. Consider some of the physical “symptoms” of aging: heart failure, kidney failure, hair loss, skin thinning, brain atrophy, osteoporosis, prostatic hypertrophy, sweater vests, cataracts, hearing loss and immune deficiency. Sound like a disease? If so, can it be beaten? According to the 8500+ physicians who belong to the AAAAM (American Association of Anti Aging Medicine), not only is aging a disease, but it is often a fatal one. They feel that medicine currently spends excessive energy, talent and money in treating the outcomes of aging rather than preventing many of the problems that manifest later in life. AAAAM search not only for ways to prolong life span, but also increase health span. In 1900 the average life expectancy was 48 years. A century later it has risen to 76 in America, 80 in Japan and close to 106 in the population of Ford Escort car drivers who precede me at each stop light when I have to be at the airport in 10 minutes. The lifespan for Gen X is projected by some to be 125!

We die of aging because various cells of various important organs die. Can preprogrammed cell death (called apoptosis) be delayed or even halted? Already researchers have been able to extend the lifespan of fruit flies and lab rats 4 times normal! (Thanks for nothing.)

Dr. Ronald Klatz, president of A4M, speculates, “Medical knowledge is doubling every 3 years. With advances in genetic engineering, organ transplantation and molecular machines we will see life expectancy jump from 77 to 85 in the next ten years and then steadily increase from there.” Further commenting on conquering cell death and disease, he makes this astonishing prediction: “Soon we’ll be running out of reasons to die. Heart disease and diabetes will be eliminated in 10 years, Alzheimers in 15, and cancer will be cured in 20 years. By the year 2047 the leading causes of death will be accidents, homicide and suicide, particularly among Cubs fans.” OK, I added the last phrase but I assume that if we are all living that long, that robustly, that disease-free, the term “die-hard fan” will take on a whole new meaning. WWF Smackdown will be a family affair.

So what are we supposed to do now as we wade through this new wave biomolecular revolution? Are you preparing, physically and mentally, to live a longer life than your grandparents did? As the science of youthful aging is further advanced, we are admonished to adhere to the principles of healthy living that we know all too well. Maximize your exercise, smoke and you croak, fill up with fruits, veggies and grains to preserve your heart, liver and brains, buy low—- sell high, don’t make alcohol your last call, reduce the weight or you reduce the wait (for angioplasty) etc.

As Mickey Mantle stated “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.” As Mickey Mouse stated “Wow, I’m immortal!” And as anti-aging researcher Dr. Ivan Popov, stated “Wouldn’t it be great if we all died young… late in life.”

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