Things you might want to know about a doctor before you trust him or her with your healthcare.
-why so many patients in waiting room are afflicted with cobwebs
-why most are accompanied by lawyers
-has he ever performed plastic surgery on Jacko, Farrah or Burt
-the diameter of index finger
-does he own a dog

The dawc’s dawg? It now appears that doctors without border collies are safer for you, the patient, than doctors with dachshunds. If your doctor cuddles his/her dog/cat then he/she might well be the cause of your untimely demise. A recent study has indicated that MRSA, the so-called superbug resistant to most antibiotics, can be passed from pets to people (ie doctors) and then on to other people (ie patients.) MRSA is a lovely mutant form of Staph. aureus that usually does nothing more than etch out a small spider bite-like lesion on your skin. But on occasion it can get downright nasty and spread into your body causing other adverse effects like zits and death.

Zoonosis is the transmission of diseases from animals to humans and doctors. Children are particularly susceptible given their propensity to want to taste what the dog tasted, lick toys that the dog licked, and fling their filthy festering fingers freely into their mouths. We need to ask ourselves, as Rover scores a succulent sloppy slurp on our snout and up into our sinuses, exactly where that tongue was three minutes earlier.

Thousands of kids in North America are infected annually with roundworm parasites, the commonest zoonotic infection passed on by dogs. While most will show no evidence of this infestation, 10,000 kids a year will develop a strange rash and 750 per year will have their vision damaged as the worm crawls into the retina. Toxocara canis (roundworms) infects virtually all dogs at some time. Almost 100% of pooping puppies are born infected with T canis, and they shed millions of eggs per day. Toxocara eggs exist everywhere in our environment. Enjoy your breakfast.

From toxocara to toxoplamosis, courtesy of those cute but toxic kitties. Toxoplasmosis may cause no symptoms either but on occasion it can lead to brain and eye damage. It is especially important for pregnant women not to clean cat litter boxes, as toxoplasmosis can cause birth defects. While fiddling with cat feces is one way to get toxoplasmosis, the greater risk of contracting this disease comes from gardening, (particularly if a cat was gardening there before you) or eating undercooked meat, like pork, lamb or rack of kitty.

And cats don’t get off easy with just parasites. Of late is the concern regarding the dreaded avian flu (H5N1 if you speak droid.) Cats tend to snack on avian and have now been found to contract avian flu, shedding the virus in their feces and nasal droplets.

As I peck away at the computer my own disease-delivering dog, who has just noisily groomed her nether regions, is now licking the marshmallow topping and jujube remnants from the webbing off my fingers. “Bad dog. Go play with the kids.” OK, off to the clinic.

Here are some easy ways to help protect your family from diseases carried by house pets:
• Wash your hands with soap and running water after touching feces.
• Wash your hands after handling your pet-especially before eating or preparing food.
• People with weakened immune systems should take special precautions, including never letting pets lick them on the face or on an open cut or wound, never touching animal feces and never handling an animal that has diarrhea.
• Don’t let your pet drink from toilet bowls or eat feces.
• Cover your children’s sandboxes when not in use.
• Use a pooper scooper. You can prevent contamination by picking up feces from your yard immediately-do not let it sit. As feces breaks down, eggs form and seep into the soil. A dog or child can play in the soil and spread contamination.
• Feed your pets cooked or prepared food - never raw meat - and provide fresh water daily.
• Have your pet’s stool sample examined by your veterinarian every 6 - 12 months.
• Ask your veterinarian to place your pets on preventive flea and internal parasite medication as soon as possible after birth or adoption. Treatment and control of internal parasites should be performed at least annually by a veterinarian."